My Artist Statement
Finally, at the end of the year, I've realized that I've come to learn a lot things. I originally came to Photo 1 seeking the knowledge of the techniques used to take quality photographs. I've always liked to take simple photos, but I never had a camera of my own, and my older sister is usually asked to take the photos whenever we go out and about. This class was an opportunity to be able to quench my thirst for new experiences, new projects, more creativity. Over my time in Photo 1 I've learned the different aspects of good photos and how simple changes here or there can totally alter the meaning behind an image.
More than this though, I've come to accept things in my life. The clone project pushed me to express different emotions and show off the variety of actions I go about in my day to day life (Things I'm not very accustomed to!). The levitation project made me realize that I have many friends willing to help me in many places; if I'm willing to look for them. The golden hours pieces really cemented my enjoyment of sunrise and sunset, giving me yet another reason to get up at 4 am (yes, I do this on the regular!) and stay outside until the sun is down.
This semester wasn't too challenging all in all. There were parts that weren't very nice to me, but I've had to deal with worse. The most difficult of those parts was actually getting the photos done. Through some unfortunate circumstances last year, my friend group was severely cut down, and I wasn't feeling very sociable (still aren't to be honest). Because of this, I had difficulties with getting people to photograph, finding ways to take pictures of myself, and have inspirations for compositions. If you're around the same people for a while, you run out of new things, you know?
Despite all of that, I did manage to make some pretty good images in my opinion. My favourite of them is definitely the cherry blossom project. When my ex and I were still together we'd walk around the school and admire the trees in all of their beauty while they lasted. Unfortunately, while the trees bloomed, our relationship died. So having a project dedicated to the blossoms really helped me look back on the past with a positive view, and helped me rediscover my love for the flowers.
If there is a favourite project, ergo there must be one I'm most ashamed of, no? The one project I'd really like to improve upon would be the motion blur project. I just couldn't ever grasp the concept of it, and I had difficulty catching it in a photo. I'm not normally around moving things, being a bookworm, gamer, and all around hermit, after all! I thought to make birds the subject of one of my photos, but my camera decided to capture them as white blurs, and as such they appeared as clouds in the blue sky. You can imagine my disappointment at this occurence. As I said before, I don't have many people to go out and hang with, so I came to school dreading entering the Photo room. Once I sat at my table though, my friend Mykayla instantly came up with a solution! So we ran around the school for a bit without a care in the world, taking photos like mad and generally being teenage hooligans. The photos were interesting enough, so I was satisfied with the result, but I still feel that if I was a little more outgoing and willing to ask for inspiration, I'd have far more creative photos to offer.
Speaking of inspiration and creativity, our final project was a self portrait. This photo was supposed to symbolize what made us, us. What drove us, our hopes, dreams, how we saw the world. Originally I was overwhelmed by this concept. Could one truly boil a person down to one photo? Are we all that simple? Then I realized that I was looking at it all wrong. One photo doesn't make you. It's the effort behind the image, the fact that you decide what you want to show, and what you want to keep for yourself. This concept stuck with me while I drew up different plans for my final project. I was able to come up with two different ideas: One of me looking in a mirror (the one you see above), and one of my different emotions seated at a table, hashing things out (not pictured because I was dissatisfied with what it was becoming. It just didn't feel like me anymore. You know that feeling when the project starts to go somewhere you didn't intend it to? That's what was going on. I'll share the photo with you, Hohmann if you'd like! As proof that I didn't just laze off and only do one).
Now this image is a little complex, so I'll break into it a little to give you a little insight into what I see, if only so you can compare what you see to my vision. First off: as you've probably noticed, half of this image is in black and white while the rest is in full color. The, "mirror world", as I came to refer to it over my work, is supposed to show how I view the world. I see things very simply (Except in the case of morality! Good christ is that complicated. I don't like it, but I accept it ;w;). Friend or Not. Done, Not Done. Victory, Defeat. This comes from the way I was raised and my interests in life. In video games you either kill your opponents or they kill you. It doesn't matter if you were close because you're still dead. In soccer you either outplay the opponents and score more, or you don't and lose. There is no prize for second place as second place is naught but first to lose. There is a saying that I believe fits here perfectly: "History remembers the victors", or "The one who stands in the end is righteous". I have a close circle of people that I would do anything for, but if you're not in it I have no inclination to help or do anything for you. Sure there are gradients within these two, but in essence that's how I see things. With school work you either pass or fail. Sure an A would be nice once in a while, but in the grand scheme of things a C still lets you continue, doesn't it? (Don't tell my parents that. They'll have my head haha). Now for the little illumination around my head! I'm sure that's what caught your eye, didn't it? Well it's simple really: I love a good story. What do all good stories have? Compelling, complex characters with many obstacles to overcome. I've had my share of them (not physical or life threatening, but more philosophical, moral, and personal) which I believe have served to make me the way I am. But that's my story. It's making a turn for the positive now, but how have I affected others' tales? I know past me made many mistakes and burned many a bridge haphazardly (shame really), so what have I done to change the path of others? We all have our own story to tell, our own destinies that await us, but each is constantly changing. A quote that I feel elegantly describes this comes from Death (cheerful, I know). In one of my favourite novels, The Ragged Man, Death tells one of the protagonists (such a word has little meaning to me now. Everything comes from perspective! He who may be good now can easily change and surprise you) that, "Time is not a line to follow, nor a book that can be read, but a landscape of contours and colors, ever changing and impossible to map". We may be set on one path, but a chance encounter can send us careening towards an entirely different ending with no warning; sometimes multiple times a day! So the way I see it is that we're all main characters in our own stories, so why should we judge one another? Who are we to say that one person is evil, when in their eyes they may be doing good? "A hero is merely a disaster with a point of view". (Of course there is limits to this viewpoint of mine, so don't go saying, "This man sympathizes with mass murderers and terrorists!").
Now that I've gone a little into the meaning behind my self portrait, what do I want you to take from this? (The big question here. Why must everyone wonder this? Must there always be a meaning behind any creation? Can't an artist want the viewer to see what they will? Make a decision about how they want to see their life? To discover how their schema brings them to put the pieces of an image together and come to sense with what they've created for themselves? But I digress) I'd like you to see hope. The area around me is lighter than the rest of the photo because I see moral integrity as being the light in the dark that we all must have in order to weather the storm that is society's multiple personalities constantly vying for your loyalties. "A belief you suspend when it suits you isn't a belief. It's a lie". "The night is darkest before the dawn". Keep at it. You do you, no matter what others say. As corny as it sounds, stay true to yourself. I've tried having multiple personalities to make myself fit into more groups of people, but all that does is make you lose track of what differentiates you from others. If nothing else I'd like you to see this in my self portrait. Learn from my mistakes. Keep the hope alive. But as I said before, I won't try and shove my ideology down your throat. I'd simply ask that you take it into account and understand my viewpoint.
To any future Photo 1 students: I hope you clicked on my blog by something other than random chance, but lets be honest here, you got bored and decided to click random links until something interesting popped up, right? Don't worry, I'm not judging! My advice to you would be to not be afraid to ask for help. If you're struggling, sometimes the mature thing to do is to hold out your hand and see who reaches out to you. Who knows? You'd be surprised by what comes from taking a chance. It got me a girlfriend and a happier life, if that would serve to make it more enticing! (And if people aren't the nicest to you, don't rage back at them! "Spending time trying to figure out why people have hate in their heart is a waste of time. It's better to focus on how to bring them out of it". Mr. Johnson said that; if he's still at Tualatin High School, I'd encourage you to go in and tell him that Isaac says hi). Another thing: you aren't a little angel. You /will/ have to take criticism and like it. Don't be all high and mighty. "When you live among the stars you lose sight of what is happening on the ground". My final quote for you is this: "If you want something to shine bright it has to be polished hard". So I hope you take the time to polish what makes you unique. Goodbye, and good day.
